True Stories in Short

While walking back from a water puppets show in Hanoi, Ray got blindsided by a soccer ball in the stomach. The whopping kick came from a little girl about 7 years old and I saw the whole thing happen before it actually did. I watched as she and a friend passed the ball back and forth. I saw her jump forward and rear her right foot backwards and connect her toe with the side of the ball just so. My eyes widened as I saw the ball lift off the ground and come hurtling towards us with great speed. I heard the smacking sound as the ball made contact with Ray's stomach. I nearly collapsed with laughter and couldn't even pretend to hold it in.

On our first day in Ninh Binh we decided to rent motorbikes. It was raining pretty heavily but thought we would make for Cuc Phuong National Park anyway. The plan was to head for the park, stopping to see a floating village and the ancient capital of Hoa Lu on the way and then spending the night at a guesthouse in the park. For the trifling sum of $5 per day we decided to splurge and each get our own motorbike. I, having never actually driven a motorbike, felt confident that my years of experience driving a standard transmission car would prove useful in learning this new skill. Armed with a raincoat, an ill-fitting helmet, and my overnight bag, I boarded the beast ready for an adventure on the open road. The man started it up for me and showed me where the gas was. I turned back on the handle and away I went. The only problem was that I was not told that when I wanted to stop I not only had to pull on the hand break, but I had to let up on the gas. Needless to say I did not perform this task correctly and I found myself careening toward a pedestrian. I lost my balance, and my bravado, and both me and the bike tipped towards the road. I suffered a couple of pretty impressive war wounds and ended up bleeding all over the sheets that night. We didn't make it to Cuc Phuong that day.

You know the scene in Jumanji where they roll the dice while playing the game and they end up in the middle of a monsoon? Yesterday, we did finally make it to Cuc Phuong National Park. It was still raining a little bit but not enough to deter us like it did the day previous. We got to the park, visited the Endangered Primate Rescue Center, took a beautiful scenic drive into the center of the park, had lunch and then started our trek. The trek was an 8 km hike through the jungle on a trail of moderate difficulty. It was sprinkling enough to warrant our raincoats but not enough to detract from the majesty fo our surroundings. The trek took us to a 1000 year old tree in the heart of the forest and then back around to the central starting point. Just about the time that we made it to the tree, which was about halfway, the skies opened up and started dumping obscene amounts of water on us. At that point raincoats weren't even the issue. There was so much rain that the trail turned into a veritable raging river and the concern was no longer about staying dry but keeping from getting swept away entirely. Unfortunately the rain caused most of the animals to go into hiding so all we saw was a lizard, some gigantic butterflies, the tail end of something furry that moved too quickly to identify, and some jungle crabs. Despite it all, the landscape and scenery were absolutely breathtaking and the day as a whole was my favorite so far.

Within the bounds of the national park are a number of caves. One that was on our way to the 1000 year old tree was the Palace Cave. About 45 minutes into the trek we came upon the cave and walked into its cool mouth, thankful for the chance to get in from the rain. Because it seemed that most of the park was devoid of any visitors but us, we decided that it would be fine to hang up our wet coats and packs on some rocks before proceeding onwards. The travel book suggested that a flashlight was necessary for viewing the inside of this cave indicating it was rather deep and well...cavernous. We started into the cave thinking little of it. Afterall this was probably the third or fourth cave we had ventured into so far, what could be the big deal? As far as caves go this was a pretty nice one. The ground was relatively even and the ceiling was high so walking wasn't that difficult. The flashlight we had only illuminated an area about ten feet in front of us due to its small size and the steaminess of the cave. The further we traipsed into the caves belly the quieter the sounds of the ouside got and the more distinct the sounds of the inside became. The sounds on the inside of the cave were mostly that of dripping water, crunching gravel and squeaking bats. Being the avid spelunkers that we have become over the last couple of days, we were in no way deterred by the bats. Afterall, I attempted to nurse one back to health and keep one as a pet when I was little. Every now and then Ray would shoot the flashlight up to the ceiling to see if we could see where the bats were sleeping. Up ahead of us we saw a massive crevace in the ground right before the cave started to turn right and shrink in size. It was right at this juncture that the squeaking became the loudest. Knowing that the bats were probably disturbed by our presence we stopped and remained absolutely quiet as we shone the light around us. Nope no bats there, none there either, I wonder where they are hiding? Then, as our eyes followed the flashlight up the side of the crevace, up the far wall, and onto the highest point of the ceiling, there we saw them. The ceiling was no longer made of limestone but of crawling, writhing, hairy little bodies. The sea of slumbering bats spanned an area about 20-25 feet in diameter and just as our flashlight landed on them one or two swooped down to avoid the light. At this we turned on our heels and booked it out of the cave faster than you can say "Happy Halloween!"

My Observations Thus Far...

-Most Vietnamese women have extremely long hair.
-Most Vietnamese men have extremely long fingernails.
-Vietnamese cuisine is not too dissimilar to American-Chinese fastfood.
-The tourist attractions, though fascinating and beautiful, are not easily accessible or fully understood without the help of a Vietnamese speaking guide.
-Many Vietnamese still speak French, a useful discovery.
-The dogs here are much cuter than those of the other Asian countries I have visited.
-When it rains it pours
-The driving is hair raising
-The daily costume of rural female worker looks like pyjamas
-The beaches are beautiful and the water is nice but sometimes there are lots of scary looking floating bags
-The Vietnamese will try to sell you anything

To Be Continued...

To the Bleeding Hearts of the World...

Vietnam may not be for you.

While travelling by motorbike to Tam Coc, a town surrounded by time sculpted limestone, we found ourselves behind a most pitiful sight. A man was zipping along the highway with not one but two whole pig carcasses strapped to the back of his motorbike. I was at first only mildly shocked at seeing two full grown pigs with all limbs and accessories attached pass by me. I'm sure that the man was taking them to market to sell. I'm equally sure that the sacrifice of two of his prize pigs was something that deeply troubled him because I'm sure that the pigs had become like part of the family. Surely such a sacrifice would only be made if it were deemed absolutely necessary. I'd be willing to bet that the money gained from the sale of the pigs was to be used for a life saving surgery for his youngest of five children. I'm also relatively confident that the pigs were sacrificed in the most humane manner possible while still preserving the meat.

Well, before my happy thoughts of the man and the life of the pigs could come to an end the pig stacked on top started to move. Not only did it start to move but it started to squeal and kick and thrash. All of this movement disturbed the slumbering pig on the bottom and he too began to display his displeasure with being stacked upon and lashed to the back of a motorbike. With both pigs attempting to throw their considerable weights around in order to free themselves of this hell, the bike started to swivel and very nearly went over. The whole episode was over fairly quickly, but not before my brain had the chance to remember the details in order to replay them in tonight's nightmare.

Before they settled down comfortable on top of one another, the pigs did manage to deal the man a pretty hefty blow in the kidneys.

The score:
Pigs-1
Man- 2 million dong (about $130) richer

Gooood Morning Vietnam!

"It's hot, damn hot! So hot my plants are on fire...about to do some crotch pot cookin'" Never before have those words rung so true. It's about 10:30 in the morning and as I sit at this computer in the lobby of my hotel I can feel the sweat trickling down the backs of my legs and my chest. Mmmm delicous!

Besides being hot it has also been very exciting and wild. After Ray picked me up from the aiport yesterday we just sort of wandered around the city trying to avoid a misfortunate accident with a moped. We walked around a lake in the Old City and tried to soak up what little breeze there was. Afraid to be too overwhelmed with the newness of everything we opted to save all touristy outings and real exploration for today.

Today is strange fruit testing day. There are women everywhere who sell some of the weirdest fruit I've ever seen out of a baskets that swing from their shoulders. Of particular interest are the giant leechee fruit looking things. They have a spiny pinkish brown outer shell and they are quite literally the size of basketballs. Something else to try are the green things that at first glance look like avocados but on the inside are clearly some kind of citrus fruit. The other one that I'm dying to try is the thing tat looks like huge pink cactus flower. Ray tells me it's called a dragon fruit, but he can't always be trusted. In addition to the weird looking stuff there is also a plethora of bananas and succulent looking mini-pineapples that are cruisin' for a bruisin'.

Throughout strange fruit testing day we will be visiting some of Hanoi's more political and cultural areas. The Ho Chi Minh museum and perhaps the mausoleum are on the list of to do's, but realistically, once you've seen on embalmed communist dictator's body you've seen them all, thanks Mao. Later tonight we have tickets to go see a performance of Hanoi's famous water puppets and I've been told that if I want to go to the women's museum that I will most likely be going solo. Apparently a museum partially dedicated to the women's costumes through the ages of Vietnamese history isn't a bi-gendered interest.

Anyway I had better sign off because the puddle of sweat that has accumulated under my feet and chair is slowly inching its way towards the power chords and it would be a real tragedy to get electricuted and be forced to miss out on strange fruit testing day.

Fare thee well...

On the morning of my last day in Korea I find myself....hungover. It's a misty, hazy morning in Hwajeong and as I make the final preparations for my departure I am elated but am unable to show it thanks to the headache.

Despite all of that though I am ready. I have been ready for quite some time now and have no regrets about leaving, if even a shade earlier than I was originally supposed to. I have done this country right for the time that I have been here but it is most definitely time to move on. I am saddened by the fact that I will not be going home to see my family right away but excited about the adventure that tomorrow and the many hot and rainy days to follow, will bring. Today I will fly into Hanoi to begin the first leg of my four country tour through Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos and Thailand.

I will continue to update as often as possible to keep everyone awares of my current location and continued survival. This is Megan, signing off. Thanks for stopping by.

"Everyone Smiles in Wonderland"

Feeling slightly guilty about having sent my entire family a fake email about me eloping to Taiwan with a 35 year old divorced Korean man, I feel compelled to give a real update as to the drama that has ensued since my last entry. Although it may seem unlikely that any more drama could have developed after having my house broken into, I invite you to read on and take a big whiff of the shit that has relentlessly rained down on me these last few weeks.

According to the last update my apartment was broken into while my visiting college roommate and I slumbered peacefully on the floor. That incident happened on Monday morning. The rest of the week I spent most of my out of class time fighting with my employers to put bars on my windows. Insisting that they were having trouble finding a company willing to secure such large windows, I find myself nearing the end of the week with zero progress having been made. Because my apartment has no airconditioning it is beyond the bounds of reality to expect us to survive a night with all of the windows closed. Because of this we opted to keep the window of prior entry closed and locked but kept the large sliding window in the laundry room open for absolute necessary ventilation. Having inspected the piping on that side of the building and feeling reassured by my supervisor's insistance that the perpetrator would not come back, we felt rather comfortable.

On Friday morning I once again found myself inexplicably awakened. I rolled over on my bed to notice the legs of a figure standing not two feet away from my head in my laundry room. Again I found myself uncertain as to whether or not it was Lauren sleep walking. This time however I was a little less pleasant with my query when I said "what the fuck..." The real Lauren, hearing this shop bolt upright in her bed nest to me. Instantly realizing that the nearby legs did not in fact belong to her I leapt into action. I rushed at the figure with no other weapon than my fits and started pummeling on his back and neck. Lauren, barely being awake before all of this took place, was under the impression that the figure was attacking me and immediately sprung for the lights and any pan-like device with a hard bottom and a handle. By the time she had the lights on the man was scurrying down the pipe from whence he came and both of us were screaming bloody murder at the top of our lungs.

Admittedly my Korean is bad. I know a few words and key phrases at the most, certainly not enough to be able to communicate with the police over the phone where the help of hand gestures are out of the question. Like last time I called my supervisor who did no more than murmur in her sleepy broken English, "oh shit". The next day Lauren and I met with tow policemen at school. The meeting was totally useless seeing as it consisted of about 10 to 15 minutes of Korean back and forth with no more than five questions being translated and directed towards us. The questions were all useless seeing as they all had to do with the description of the person. All I saw was that he was suffering from male pattern baldness and a serious case of footprint minisculus. The meeting ended without any hope of resolution. I had a number of meetings that day with my supervisor and the owner of my school. Basically the meetings involved me saying that I wanted to get the hell out of here and them saying no. My contract is due to end at the end of the month anyway but they told me that if I tried to leave any sooner that it would be a breach of the contract and I would be forfeiting my rights to receive my severence pay as well as the finder's fee for the new teacher. Unwilling to accept this after a year of slaving away on their behalf I insisted this was unacceptable and due to these exceptional circumstances some allowances needed to be made. After some more meetings, some strong words, some tears and some slammed doors they are allowing me to leave on the 22nd of July, as opposed to the 28th, and I will be getting my full severence. I'll let you know how that all pans out in a couple of weeks.

Lauren and I have been staying in a seedy love motel since Friday a week ago. Lauren, having had her fill of fun in Korea decided to go home. She sensed a bad feeling for our travels to come and lost much of her travel confidence due to her experiences here. Yesterday, I made my final move out of the hotel and my old apartment and into my new apartment located in the same building as the school. I have less than two weeks left but I am happy to spend them away from the animalesque sounds of the love motel and the creepy towns folk of Haengsin-dong, the location of my first apartment. This apartment is nice complete with two refrigerators, an 8th floor view, airconditioning and a blue and white polka dotted toilet seat.

I am mentally checked out of this job and this place. I can't wait to start my travels in Southeast Asia in 12 days. I'm sad that Lauren won't be with me but she has tentative plans to meet us in Ho Chi Minh city in Vietnam. I will be meeting Ray in Hanoi on the 22nd and we'll take it from there. I already have my backpack and my malaria pills so I'm pretty much ready to go.

This weekend the girls and I are going to the mud festival. Stay tuned for updates and pictures from that.